The rotting trellis groaning under the weight of the wisteria.  Bricks buckling and relinquishing control to healthy roots tapping deeply into dark recesses of nourishing loam.  Flowers willy nilly competing for sun, space and attention.  Prolific roses growing out of control, energy unharnessed.

My garden is a perfect reflection of the imperfect me.

I am the willy nilly flowers… not a good candidate for the five year plan.  Opportunities that arise out of nowhere allow me to move without restriction into another space with better light and nourishment.  Loosely planned pandemonium is more my style.

I am the boundless roses.  Not always perfectly groomed.  Still longing for straight hair and skinny legs but accepting myself for who I am at this point in my life.

I am the faithful trellis, succumbing to the weight of the thriving wisteria and the responsibilities of motherhood, friendship, citizenship and a significant relationship.  Continually holding up, supporting and affirming the just cause.

I am the winding, reaching, emancipated wisteria- roots extending downward into the rich soil, challenging the limiting parameters of the brick- displacing and rearranging them to accommodate new visions and fresh landscapes.

unruly

…guilty

attention seeking

…guilty

disobedient

…guilty

 

Outrageous

…guilty

 

 

Someday I will sell this big house with its’ labor intensive back yard and the new inhabitants will snap their fingers and raze the bedlam to make room for the more modern hard-scape, built in BBQ, Jacuzzi tub and water-saving antiseptic nirvana.

Until then, I will revel in the peace and validation of my imperfect garden
and find forgiveness.