onehipdiva
6
Sentimental Journey
Filed under: Motherhood, Raising Sons | Tags: cycling, empty nest, get out and play!, mom taxi | May 6th, 2012
When my three sons were little boys we used to play outside on Tedemory Drive in the sunny Southern California weather. I say we because I was often the mom out there with all the neighborhood kids playing three flies up or kickball or freeze tag or slip and slide. What appeared to be a noble mother-like thing to do was actually this mother’s excuse to go out and play- re-creating my own childhood days on Halo Drive playing hide and go seek and football in the street, and rollerskating with my best friend Holly Kocher around the block. I have the scars to show for it. This one from falling out of Mrs. McDaniel’s tree. That one from roller derby induced road rash. Back here is where I ripped open my leg falling into rose bushes while trying to catch a baseball. (BTW- I caught it!)
When my sons became teenagers and I began the “mom taxi” service to San Jose for high school and visits to friends, we would drive from Morgan Hill down Hale Ave where every cyclist in town gravitated to ride. I would say to my sons “I’d take up biking if it wasn’t for those funny clothes!”
Low and behold!
Empty nest hit. No more son shuttling. No more three flies up. No more “Mom, can you take me…?”
Well, never say never! Cycling gave me the opportunity to go out and play again! And what a joy to have the opportunity to wear those funny clothes with my handsome son, Peter. I guess all those rides down Hale Ave. piqued his interest as well.
Joining us yesterday were Peter’s beautiful girlfriend, Breezy and my handsome manfriend, Dale. Together we completed a 100k ride through the wine country with 2000 other cyclists. Who would’a thought? Funny clothes and all…
Now don’t just sit there! Get out and play!
If One Hip Diva can do it, you can too! 
8
Beautiful Easter!
Filed under: Being Catholic, My Lenten Journey | Tags: amazes, fall in love, finding God, imagination, love (6), stay in love | April 8th, 2012
Nothing is more practical than finding God,
that is, than falling in love.
In a quite absolute, final way, what you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekend,
what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.
- Attributed to Pedro Arrupe. S.J.
7
It was a very Good Friday!
Filed under: Being Catholic, My Lenten Journey | Tags: conviction, cross (2), crucified, eternal life, faith, google, incense, love (6), Myers Briggs, New Age, resurrection, sin, solidarity, strength (2) | April 7th, 2012
I’ve had at least two people ask me in the past two days why it’s called Good Friday. Funny… in all the years of being Catholic I’ve never asked that question. It just goes to show how much we Catholics take in and accept as truth in faith.
I guess I could google it. But I’d rather think that it’s “Good” because Jesus died and paid the price for our sins so that we can have eternal life. Granted… I have never questioned that either!
Yesterday I attended Good Friday services at the Santa Clara Mission. The lights were dimmed, the incense plentiful and the music was prayerful. It was a solemn liturgy and I had some heavy things on my heart. A good friend from high school recently died of a heart attack. Another family’s 21 year old son was killed in an accident by a drunk driver. A young teen has disappeared from Morgan Hill and has not been found.
I felt such solidarity with the congregation as we marched forward to venerate the cross singing “Were you there when they crucified my Lord”. People knelt to kiss the cross. Others bowed. Ok.. I get emotional at these things. I’m an N and an F on the Myers Briggs. It doesn’t take much to make me weepy.
But just as I began to search for yet another tissue in my purse, the presiding priest asked us to join him in the Lord’s Prayer. The somewhat feeble and elderly man standing next to me grabbed my hand firmly and raised it up in his and began to pray in earnest! His strength and conviction shot through his hand into mine and straight to my heart. I felt suddenly transformed by his faith and a presence of love.
Maybe it’s all hocus pocus. Catholics were New Age before the New Agers were! Beads and incense and smoke and mystery. Death and resurrection. I’ve bought it hook line and sinker my whole life.
I don’t need to explain it or google it. I experienced it yesterday. And it was certainly a “Good” Friday.
6
One last Lenten prayer…
Filed under: My Lenten Journey | Tags: intentions, mercy (2), prayer (2), supplication, wish | April 6th, 2012
Lent officially ends tonight and I never really decided on what I was doing or not doing to observe the 40 days and 40 nights. I guess I wanted to keep my options open! So here we are at the solemn end and what do I have to show for it?
In hindsight I realize that I did get into a habit of praying. I often feel like such a flake when I tell someone that I will pray for them and then it dissolves into the thin air of my best intentions. So during Lent I kept a prayer list by my computer.
And I prayed in the morning when I got to work.
And I prayed in Savasana after hot yoga.
And I prayed when I was falling asleep at night.
As I prayed I put a line through the answered prayer… (like I do with my “to do” list).
Well Barbara who was suffering from cancer went to meet her maker in heaven. Jen is pregnant. Claire and her husband are in the process of adopting a baby. Mounir got a job. My friend Nancy’s husband got in to a special program at OHSU for his cancer treatments. And my cousin Anna Marie looks beautiful in her facebook pictures even though I know she is in the midst of fighting breast cancer. Prayer works!
But we’re not done yet God! There is one more thing on my list!
I have tried every angle with my supplication. I’ve consulted with my mother in heaven and asked her to go see what’s holding up the works. I’ve held a painful pose in yoga and “offered it up” for a special intention. It seems only fair that if I can hold standing bow pose for one full minute on a fake hip that God can grant this one wish! I’ve worn this little cross as a good luck charm, rubbing it every few minutes to remind heaven that I haven’t given up the fight yet. Today I posted my prayer request on www.prayerrequest.com! (you can google anything you know..) Lastly I’ve told the whole world with this blog that I’m on my last nerve.
Lord have mercy! Just one last thing…
9
Seek Forgiveness
Filed under: My Lenten Journey | Tags: betray, contrite, cross (2), forget, forgive (2), grace (3), mend, mercy (2), pride, respect, stubborn, villain, vulnerable, wrong | March 9th, 2012
They say a picture is worth a thousand words and this one would certainly qualify. I remember this moment as though it happened yesterday. This particular permutation of the daily squabbles among my three munchkins was not the norm. Patrick (my peace maker) was rarely the villain on the scene.
My two bookends, Rob and Peter, maybe..
But I can assure you that minutes after this photo frame the three of them were playing nicely and had forgotten about the theft of the baby doll. Why would they continue to fight when they have one another to play with? Forgive and forget. So easy at this age.
This same scene in 20 years could potentially have a different outcome. You betray me or take something that belongs to me and it may be very difficult for me to forgive you.
Because I am stubborn. Because I have this thing called pride. Because I don’t respect the history we have had together and am not willing to put aside my “rightness” in order to mend the relationship and find a way to move on from here. Or perhaps I just don’t know how to do it.
How do we seek forgiveness?
Have a contrite heart. Be vulnerable. Put pride aside. Admit to being wrong, or stubborn, or cross, or oversensitive. Then ask for forgiveness.
Allow God’s grace and mercy to work their magic. And begin anew.
5
Live Simply
Filed under: My Lenten Journey | Tags: black coffee, garden, harvest, joy (2), neighborhood, Phil Donohue, radishes, ritual, simplicity | March 5th, 2012
This picture of my son, Peter, in our back yard in Whittier, California, takes me back to a time when life was much simpler. Our morning ritual went something like this…
Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and then a tour of the vegetable garden to see what was newly sprouting and/or ready for harvest.
On this beautiful morning Peter uprooted a bumper crop of radishes and held them in awe and wonder only capable of a four year old reveling in his stay-at-home mom’s undivided attention. (Judging by Peter’s age I’m guessing Robert and Patrick were tucked neatly away at school for the day.)
The weed infested grass in the foreground wouldn’t win any awards I can guarantee you! And our front yard was no different being that it was the designated area for the neighborhood slip and slide on hot afternoons.
But we were oblivious to the imperfections. Life was good and we didn’t care what the neighbors thought. After all.. their kids were at our house playing and they were most likely home drinking ice tea and watching Phil Donohue!
During this lenten season I want to live more simply. Drive less. Spend less. Worry less. Pray more while lying in Savasana pose after hot yoga class. And find more joy in little things. A phone call from my brother Mickey. An impromptu lunch with a good friend. An early morning stroll with a cup of black coffee (sans little boys, sadly) in my Morgan Hill garden to see what’s newly sprouting and/or ready for harvest.
28
Remember who loves you, baby!
Filed under: My Lenten Journey | Tags: alms (2), pagan babies, poor, sacrifice | February 28th, 2012
Does this look familiar?
No.. It’s not the collection for the pagan babies. That was SO yesterday. It’s been cleaned up and repackaged in a more politically savvy wrapper. It’s Operation Rice Bowl.
The premise is the same…
Have a simple meal or pass up the venti nonfat vanilla soy decaf latte and deposit the money you save into this little box. Write a check at the end of Lent to Catholic Relief Services. This organization supports programs all over the world in an effort to alleviate hunger and poverty. orb.crs.org
And while we’re on the subject..
What happened to all those pagan babies we saved in elementary school? You know.. the ones we gave up our milk money for? The ones we were told we could purchase for $5, have baptized, fed and housed and saved from the fires of hell, in order to fulfill our Lenten obligation of almsgiving?
The topic of pagan babies stimulated some interesting posts on Facebook:
Remember naming your pagan baby? That was the fun part!
We nominated, voted, and named it after our teacher.. always.
Since the girls donated 5-1, it was usually always a girl.
The term “pagan baby” sounds so horrific! We thought it was so normal in Catholic grade school in the 50′s and 60′s!
I used to give them all my birthday money!
How innocent were we? What other things did our parents tell us that we bought hook line and sinker? “Clean your plates because the children are starving in Biafra.” Where is Biafra anyway? And how will we get my uneaten peas to them?
If only we could have Googled that to see if they were telling us the truth.
Regardless of how they dished up the message (pun intended), the proof is in the pudding. If you are reading this blog you probably have more peas on your plate than 925 million people. There’s also a good chance that you stopped at Starbuck’s this morning and that you will enjoy a satisfying and nourishing dinner tonight.
I’m just sayin’…
23
Let’s give it up for Lent!
Filed under: My Lenten Journey | Tags: create, deepen, discern, dream, embrace, forgive (2), grow, heal, hope (2), love (6), pray, question, reflect, worship | February 23rd, 2012
Ok.. I am sitting here enjoying a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon so I guess I am not giving up red wine for Lent. Do I really have to give something up? Why not add something significant. Why not do something out of my comfort zone. Something that matters. Something that makes me uncomfortable or that makes me stray from my neurotic daily routine.
I’ve been toying with the idea of living life with more awareness and intention. Not multitasking. Not flitting from here to there. Not changing the subject mid-conversation.
Living with intention.
So cooking a meal is just cooking a meal. It’s not talking on the phone and cooking a meal. It’s not checking my email and cooking. It’s just cooking.
And reaching for my seat belt after getting into my car is not reaching with one hand and turning on the radio with the other one and checking to see if I have gas and wondering if I need my oil changed. It’s just reaching for my seat belt.
Calling my step mother and asking how she is doing is not just a task that I can check off my list of things to do but actually a loving and intimate communication with a woman who stepped in and decided to love me and my family even though we aren’t really related.
Are you giving something up for Lent?
Or are you adding something that challenges you, stretches you, makes you stop and think?
22
We interrupt this presidential primary campaign mud slinging and propaganda to bring you Ash Wednesday…
Filed under: My Lenten Journey | Tags: Afghanistan, alms (2), ashes, awareness, Breaking Bad, cancer, commitment, community, fasting, meaning, Mission Santa Clara, my God, prayer (2), purpose | February 22nd, 2012
Yesterday I had some minor surgery on my eye and was forced to take it easy- not something that comes naturally to me. I watched the news about children freezing to death in Afghanistan and then moved on to the updates of the Republican primary debates with the candidates manipulating every tactic and maneuver to make points with people who are vulnerable to their potential leadership. I then continued where I left off watching Breaking Bad- a series on netflix- the main character, Walter, dying of lung cancer and making moral and ethical decisions based on the short amount of time he has left to live.
I felt vulnerable and anxious watching all this despair, confusion and sadness.
Today I attended the noon liturgy at Mission Santa Clara in order to celebrate Ash Wednesday and receive my ashes. The message from Fr. Jack Treacy was comforting and refreshingly counterculture. “Ash Wednesday is the most populated day of the year here at the Mission! There is a longing in our hearts to re-establish our relationship with God and gain a deeper understanding of our Catholic faith and our commitment to one another in our community.”
Quite a contrast to the latest news reports and who is spending the most money on their campaigns and for what purpose.
As we received our ashes we were reminded “You are dust and to dust thou shalt return. Turn away from sin and be faithful to the gospel.” What am I doing with my life in this limited time I have on earth? What am I called to do or be during this lenten season?
I love the liturgies at the Mission Santa Clara. My friend, Rosemary, plays the clarinet for many of the Masses. We have been friends for 30 years. That’s what you call community. We did music together at St. Mary’s of the Assumption in Whittier, California when we were both newly married. Life evolved and both our families ended up in Santa Clara County. Our friendship has grown through many transitions- not always smooth and carefree. But it’s the commitment to our friendship that is foremost.
My relationship with my Catholicism is not perfect. I come to receive my ashes. I accept my mortality and my sinfulness and I long to be a better person and make a difference in the world. I am called during this Lenten season to be uncomfortable and aware. To fast, pray and give of myself and my gifts.
I will pay due diligence to my privilege to vote for the future president of my country.
But I find great comfort in knowing that my life has meaning and purpose because of my God.
14
Big Shoes to Fill…
Filed under: Graced Moments | Tags: aglow, Angels (2), blessed, eventful, graced moment, little girls, mischief, mysterious, Nancy | January 14th, 2012
Camera ready!
Time to fess up..
I have three wonderful and delightful sons and I wouldn’t change that for the world!
And yes…
I have always wanted a daughter.
There came that moment in our early marriage when my husband and I asked ourselves. “Should we try for a girl?” But after considerable thought and deliberation. After acknowledging how blessed we were with three beautiful and healthy little boys. We decided that our plate (and our joy) was full.
I consoled myself with these thoughts…
Someday there will be a little girl who needs me and I will have room in my life and in my heart for her.
Today I had the privilege of going wedding dress shopping with my beautiful niece, Sarah. I felt so honored to be asked to spend this very special day with her.
Today she was that little girl who needed me.
Sarah’s mom, my sister in law and dear friend, Nancy, died of melanoma when Sarah was 22 years old. She would have so enjoyed this eventful day with her daughter! And perhaps I could have tagged along for Auntie support and fun and gossip! The three of us would have laughed and cried and laughed some more. Oh, what mischief we could have gotten into!
Today I had big shoes to fill. But I was not alone. I know Nancy was there with us.
When Sarah stepped onto the platform with that beautiful wedding dress on an angel bent down and kissed her. She was all aglow.
God works in mysterious ways.
Today Sarah, Nancy and I went wedding dress shopping together.
