We mount our bikes and get ready for a hardy workout. The room is dim but the stage is elevated and illuminated to spotlight the empty bike from where our instructor, Ian, will be leading our 45 minute session of blood, sweat, tears and redemption. We are warming up, adjusting our seats, and preparing our souls in anticipation.
Enter Ian left stage. He is ripped and torn and fit as a fiddle with a dashing smile and a charismatic personality.
“Who has not been to Soul Cycle before?”
“Who has not been to MY class?”
He makes a mental note of who might need some extra attention in the room. He is like a prophet bringing the good news to the flock who long for health and fitness.
And off we go. The music is pounding. My daughter in law inserts her ear plugs. Ah, those thirty something kids! They can’t handle loud music? Me, on the other hand, after raising three sons with a drum set and other accouterments of a noisy household- including broken windows and baseballs thrown through doors- can find peace at any decibel.
“I know you didn’t come here to just exercise! You came here to push your limits! To see what you can do! To be all that you can!”
Yes, I want what he’s selling! But I glance briefly at my 25 week pregnant daughter in law and say quietly to her not to push yet! She can’t hear me above the din of the rock music and of course the ear plugs.
“Get rid of any negativity. People tell you it can’t be done! You might fail! They fill you with doubt and cloud your dreams! Well, I have three words for you! THREE WORDS!”
I’m thinking “get behind me Satan?” No, that’s four words…
“STAND YOUR GROUND! Don’t let people tell you who you are and what you can do! STAND YOUR GROUND!”
We’re out of the saddles now climbing the imaginary hill of our challenges and struggles. The room is moving in synchronicity. Bodies up and down and up and down on cue. I am pretty sure that if Ian told us to do a flip over our handlebars we would all cooperate. We are mesmerized by his words and his commands.
“What are you holding on to today? Let me hold it for you! Let it go and BE FREE.”
I’m beginning to wonder if there will be a crucifixion at the end of class..
“Look around you. You don’t know what burdens people have in their lives. You have no idea what the person next to you is going through today. Perhaps the biggest challenge of their life!”
I move my sweaty hand and gently touch Breezy’s hand. I’ve been so cavalier about her being pregnant and having a baby. Women do it all the time. But this is her biggest challenge right now! Pregnancy, nutrition, getting enough rest, knowing when to stop working and start nesting, moving into a new place- maybe even being married to my son, Peter! Did I raise him to be a good enough husband and father?
We are heading for the climax of the class. We are sweating and panting and letting it all go and feeling free.
“I want you to leave here with an open heart! A heart ready to love!”
I’m thinking about how fortunate I am to have this wonderful relationship with my daughter in law. There is an intimacy that continues to grow between us. I couldn’t be more delighted with the woman she is and the mother she will soon be. And I love her as if she were my own daughter.
Cooling down now and stretching. The lights go on and I realize we are at a spin class- not a revival.
There have been so many changes in my life this past year. A new home. A grandson to look forward to. My new role as a Sittie. I have considered going back into weekly therapy with my 80 year old guru, Lucia. But now I’m kind of thinking that all I really need is this quality time with my beautiful daughter in law, Breezy, a positive attitude and an open heart from which to love, and perhaps a weekly visit to the Church of Soul Cycle.
Do I hear an AMEN?