Many years ago, I attended a funeral with my then husband, for one of his co-workers. Â The gregarious and well respected engineer died relatively young leaving a wife and two small children. Â I don’t remember how he died but I do recall how sad the service was and how irritated I was as the priest continued to encourage the congregation to “Let Go and Let God”!
I didn’t think for one minute that this man’s wife and family were ready to swallow that message. Â Their grief was palpable and there would be difficult days and nights to get through before they could possibly “let go” and find peace with their loved one’s death. Â I cried the entire way home from that funeral feeling that life was so unfair and random and unpredictable. Â Vestiges of my own personal losses came up out of nowhere. Â Letting go was the last thing I wanted to do.
I found this card in a box with other momentoes that I have saved through the years. Â It was given to me after the death of my father more than 20 years ago with a heartfelt message from two dear friends from church, Mark and Margaret. Â So timely that the message should find its way into my hands, asking to be reconsidered.
When the student is ready the teacher will appear. Â I’m ready to hear this message. Â Â This is my intention for 2015.
I am a saver of old cards, of my parents things, of photographs, of memories. Â I have trouble opening my hands and letting things sift through, only keeping what is most important. Â I cling to old ideas and patterns and struggle with transition and change. Â But some old ways do not serve me anymore. Â I am choosing to change the energy in my life and counting on God to help me take the leap to the new and unexpected.
Last night I had a dream about seeing our old next door neighbors from our first home in Whittier. (Previous neighbors! Â Kenn and Lynda- you guys aren’t old yet!) Â I felt that tinge of sadness and nostalgia that one feels when they revisit the past and remember good times and feel a sense of loss.
I am girding myself for said emotions.
Here’s to a new year. Â A year of exciting discovery and potential nostalgia and sadness.
The student is ready.